Self-criticism: Why do we blame ourselves too much?

Do you find yourself criticising yourself a lot? Do you blame yourself for every mistake, big or small? This is known as self-flagellation, a psychological condition in which a person constantly berates themselves, leading to a loss of self-confidence and a decline in mental health.

What is self-criticism?

Self-criticism is a negative thought pattern in which a person tends to blame themselves excessively for mistakes or failures, even if they are not entirely responsible for them. This may be the result of a strict upbringing, traumatic experiences, or unrealistic expectations of oneself.

Why do we self-criticise?

• Constant feelings of guilt: even over minor matters or things beyond our control.
• Perfectionism: The pursuit of perfection leads us to always see ourselves as falling short.
• Comparing ourselves to others: feeling inadequate when we compare our lives to those of others.
• Fear of failure: Self-blame is used as a defence mechanism to control situations.

What impact does self-criticism have on mental health?

Repeated self-criticism leads to low self-esteem and increases the likelihood of developing depression and anxiety. It also creates an unhealthy relationship with oneself, which may affect social and professional relationships.

Stopping self-criticism does not mean shirking responsibility, but rather learning to deal with mistakes with compassion and self-compassion. A mistake is an opportunity for growth, not a reason for constant self-punishment.